Monday, October 4, 2010

Lets let society be the judge Part 2

*Please read part one first of "Lets let society be the judge"
By this time- My grandmother, had already called me to tell me to stop talking back to Anthony, b/c I have upset him..................... Anyway,...I informed my grandparents about the ENTIRE situation. My Grandpa was emotional, he was hurt! Yet,he said, "What ever you need to do: Im on your side!" (I love my Gpa). My Gmother wasnt showing any emotion (that reminded me about her not shedding one tear at my bro's funeral)... I asked her what she felt, inside etc. (via e-mail) She is still my grandma,(For the record my Gparents aren't old fragile shrivels ;))Although,I didnt agree w/ the fact my Gma was still literally choosing the uncle's feelings over my hurt( her first grandchild)- I still wrote to her in a way WITHOUT calling her out!I respected her feelings!... this was to get to the root of her feelings-It had me confused!...(everything she had responded with had something to do with..."Makes me wonder who did it to him!" (My opinion on that to myself was-It was done to me- I didnt hurt anyone else!)or Things like -"You need to just pray about it,and just let it go!" WTFFFF.
Well, a few emails later one of her sisters' spoke to me, This is the same aunt that when I first told her about the "secret" She told me, "Anthony is not welcomed back at her house", and made a big "THATS SO SHOCKINGLY DISGUSTING (ROUTINE)Im not having that BLAH,BLAH,BLAH". Welp, on this new day she said with a grin, "You're upsetting my grandma-she forwarded me the emails, so if you need to speak of the situation- speak to me!" than she giggled! ?!! Gma didnt tell me- or show me, that it was upsetting her,in ANY WAY- she could've told me! especially in her long passages she wrote. She was telling me about her childhood...At least we were getting "SOMEWHERE"... I thought she was starting to open up. Although inside I am not agreeing with everything-I was at the least getting some kind of understanding!
Welp, I stopped discussing the situation with them !!..., next thing I know I see a picture of that same great aunt sitting in a group of 4. Two of them were Anthony, and his girlfriend at a party!~(smack two- in my face!)SHE UPLOADED IT ON FACEBOOK!
Trust me he's not the only MONSTER in her pictures!
All THEY want me to do is FORGET, and to NOT DISCUSS MY HURT AMONGST THE FAMILY,b/c it looks bad, basically get over it,move on. That shits not normal!!!!!! so now whats left...hmmm maybe its better to discuss it on a blog with the WORLD!!?!!! Family of select dumbasses! (KEEP IN MIND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I AM PUBLICALLY SHARING MY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS(Besides w/ 3 modern knowledge- close cousins!!)
Last week I found that "Aunt", and her daughter erased me, AND MY MOTHER from their FB page???!!!, and still have the monster on her friends list! The "aunt" had told my mom prior to this that she dont want to have to choose sides...she is not strong enough!..-BITCH YOU MADE YOUR SELF THE CENTER OF THIS BY TRYING TO MAKE ME FORGET FOR THE SAKE OF THE FAMILY IMAGE ("Talk to me, not your Gma!"). TO TALK TO YOU (and although it never got to that, AND NOW WHAT?!!! IT SHOULD BE THE SIDE OF RIGHT OR WRONG!!
SHE ERASED ME N MY MOM B/C WE DONT WANT TO LET RAPE,AND MOLESTATION SECRETLY CONTINUE ON AND ON... B/C I should protect what someone might think about this EXTENDED FAMILY?!!! Your fucked in the head- you made it bad!!. My opinion "they" should do what they want, but the consanguinity molestation,and rape underwrapping...THAT STOPS WITH ME!!!...

>> I recently found out that when someone would ask if he has spoken to my family (w/out knowing what is going on)... he is tellin' the lie that "Oh, we havent spoken, because we are having some personality differences!!!" WHAT A FUCKING CREEP!

By the way, besides the 3 others i found situation helped, another (unrelated situation) be talked about... SPEAK UP- Noone is alone, you'd be suprised!

Hmmm, lets let society be the judge.

July 22,08, my younger brother had a car accident, and did not survive it-he was 19. So much hurt,and depression overcame me, and my mediate family.
Days before his funeral my family from Michigan came to attend the funeral. The first day upon reaching my parents house my "Uncle Anthony", said aloud in the car to my Aunt(whom is still a sweat heart, and her boyfriend,whom is more of an uncle than Anthony could ever even think of being), "Hey, do you guys wanna go to New York City?" I said, "Are you really going to do that!?" Due to the fact his nephew just died 2 days prior- that question hit me off gaurd!.. My parents,my lil brother, and I were in mourning!!. (That was the first smack in the face.) If you knew him- you would've felt the same way that I did,b/c he wasnt showing any concern what-so-ever!)(btw I think they went to nyc).
About 2 months later- that same uncle contacted me to let me know that him and his girlfriend were to come to Jersey- Stay at my moms, and Dads house to console them. WTFUCK, Im not stupid, and since I know from history that he is a user, and does not care about others feelings:I knew he was gonna use them for a free room, so that he can enjoy a trip NYC! I said to him, "Your gonna rent a hotel room right?!" He said, "No!, Im going to stay at MY sisters' house- I want to know if she's ok!" (HE HAS NOT CALLED TO SEE HOW SHE HAS BEEN EVER SINCE THE FUNERAL, BUT HE IS GOING TO STAY AT HER PLACE TO "CONSOLE HER" WHILE HE PLANS A TRIP TO NYC) Bullshit!...
I put my foot down, and let him know they dont need his fakeness! That progressed to him ranting, and raving about how I need to RESPECT HIM b/c he is my uncle...I need to watch how I speak to him,"BECAUSE HE HAS KILLED BEFORE!!" (HE IS SUCH A LOSER!) I then let him know that if he comes to Jersey...I will have him arrested.. He went on threatening me (via text message too,idiot!),( remember,this is suppose to be a BLOOD RELATIVE speaking here!>>) and said, "ALL YAH' WANT IS A PITY PARTY B/C OF THE DEATH OF YOUR BROTHER!!!!!!" I responded with, "He better NEVERRRRRR come here!!!,and if he did, I WILL have him arrested for the threats on the texts, AND for what he did to me before! (I showed my mom the texts-she asked me ASAP about that last one)...
After 15 years of keeping a secret, those words, my emotions,all the other stresses he has added to others lives,plus the fact that I have a newborn baby to protect now- made me tell about the sexual things he MADE me do to him when I was 10 YEARS OLD! My parents were FURIOUS!
Not long following, after I spoke out- I found out about 3 OTHERS THAT HE HURT WHEN THEY WERE 10 YEARS OLD, WTF!!!!!...
Well, if you think this shit is FUCKED UP...The next part of my blog is gonna be a little more FUCKED UP!!!! FUCKING SICKENING MOTHER FUCKERS IN THIS WORLD! For any victims >>We get older, personalities, and toleration changes (you stop looking out for others feelings, and start protecting those closest to you!-anything can set it off), and I hit my boiling point for this nonsense!...Blog 2 (leading up to now 2010 of this madness- will follow shortly.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

New side of the Leaf.

Thanks you two for your comments.. I have to really learn how to work this site lol...

Thursday, April 15, 2010

My weeks from HELL

Hi There, Im still working towards my plan... Its never forgotten, but I had a little set back!
2 weeks ago, I sneezed, and heard something pop in my back... it hurt like hell the day after, but later forgot about it. I went through the week just moving a lil slower than usual until that Saturday. Friday, the night before I cleaned my place from top to bottom, The next morning I though I was paralized I could NOT move for an hour... I was able to reach the phone I called my mom, than my Boyfriend, 45 minutes later he took me to the E.R. Its been 2 weeks from then, and I have been to the chiropractor everyday! I had an MRI last friday just to find out that I have 2 protruding-herniated discs the jelly in those discs are touching my siatica nerve, can you say OUCH! The doctor said its been accumulating over the years (sinc I was so active in H.S. ETC. The sneeze was the last straw) This shit is so flippin painful!